Leaving Social Media, Take 2
I took a social media hiatus in January 2017 after my first five-day silent retreat. On that retreat, I learned that I could live without social media, and in fact, I liked not having compulsions to check it. My stress reduced, I felt happier, and I connected with real—not virtual—things, like nature and people (yes, even on a silent retreat). What I thought would last a few months lasted over a year, until August 2018.
By then, my fear of missing out was in full swing. So, I compromised. I didn’t return to Facebook, but I went back onto Twitter and started an Instagram account. Boundaries were an important part of social media use for me, so I set a timer on the apps to limit my use to 10 minutes a day. Sometimes that worked. Sometimes I hit the button for one more minute of time. That felt ok until this past fall.
That’s when I went back on Facebook. I was convinced that to be a successful small business owner, I needed a social media presence. I didn’t like how I felt once I reinstalled apps onto my phone. My compulsions to check the platforms returned, as did my increased feelings of isolation and imposter syndrome. Sure, some posts were funny, but going back on it clashed with my deeper desires.
I asked myself, “What’s the deeper desire fueling wanting to be on those platforms? What’s the desire underneath that desire?”
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
I didn’t want to relate to people through quick videos or comments. I wanted more meaningful connection. Even a quick direct message with someone felt more in line with my integrity than their post.
But I was scared to leave social media. What if the business fails because of it? What if it’s the wrong choice?
A deeper truth started to overshadow the fear: I didn’t want my small business to be on platforms that were started with the purpose of rating how hot college women are (if you don’t know Facebook’s history, check it out). That is the antithesis of the values that fuel my work.
Social media is part of our mundane experience today. I see the exodus from one social media platform to others, and I’m not convinced different platforms are the answer, at least not for me. At least not right now.
I recently heard that one purpose of getting online is to get offline. I 100% get the irony that I’m writing this post about getting offline on an online setting. But I don’t think the answer is either/or. It’s about using these platforms in perhaps new ways that are aligned with deeper desires, truths, and values.
